December 2009
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Happy New Year!
All right! Time to hit the outdoors and put myself in all kinds of near-death experiences. lol. Happy New Year, everyone! Easy on the booze, though. You might confuse an explosive for a cigarette. Just saying. :)
Anyway, Happy New Year! Have a great 2010!
2010.
Dear God,
Please help make me a better person this new year. Please don’t let me be distracted by trivial bull crap; help me focus on my goals, everything I really need to accomplish.
Also, please help me be more sensitive, and more reserved if necessary. Give me more of that patience, consideration and optimism. Yeah, a hell of a lot of optimism. I really need that.
And about my...
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Crap.
Aw crap. Is she mad at me? I really think she’s mad. Or if not, just PO’ed. She’s just not telling me. Was it something I said? Am I being paranoid? Did I drink too much coffee today?
“There’s always a bright side. Most of the time we’re just too quick...”
– Trisha Bersamina
Insolence
Alright. I just realized I did something pretty damn stupid.
I guess I just reacted the wrong way. I just ditched the most motivating conversation we’ve had in a while. Well, we had don’t have anything to talk about anymore, anyway. She was probably getting bored already.
Yeah, I know. That was rude.
But I guess I couldn’t help but feel a little weird, like, dismayed, after...
Bored.
Alright. I’m bored.
This just ain’t any fun without playing video games. Screw these thumbs. I’m gonna play me a damn video game right now. lol.
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Thumbs.
That’s it. I’m not playing any games until my thumbs stop from hurting.
I mean, losing in every friggin’ death match I get myself into and using my thumbs as an excuse is just… humiliating. lol. So I’m not giving you noobs the pleasure of beating me.
And hell yes, I shall return… soon… I hope. :)
Clueless.
Alright, I’m clueless… and that made me curious.
What the hell are those two girls talking about on Twitter? Yeah, I know I shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but twhirl (the Twitter app for my desktop) shows all the tweets of everyone I follow, and I mean ALL OF THEM… including tweets that are only meant to be read by the people mentioned in them.
So I just saw those tweets,...
“I put all the others behind me. They don’t live up.”
– Future Love, Kristina DeBarge
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“People who don’t know their purpose try to do too much—and that...”
– The Purpose Driven Life, Rick Warren
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Poetry.
According to Mr. Wallace Stevens:
“A poet looks at the world somewhat as a man looks at a woman.”
Let me add a little something to that to elaborate: “A poet looks at the world somewhat as a man looks at a woman… with adoration and respect.”
Because this was stated in 1955. If you told something like that at this age, you’d think that poets were perverts....
Click.
Here I am, browsing the Web, looking for a reason to smile. Then I saw your message on my wall. I saw your picture. I smiled. Smiled at how blessed I was to have someone that beautiful as a girlfriend; that I had you to love me, but not as much as I love you. I wouldn’t know what I’d do without you. :)
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Game fingers.
Goddamn it. My fingers hurt real bad after, like, five songs on Guitar Hero. No, we’re not gonna waste our damn cash on the crappy controller. We used the joysticks instead… and damn, this is what happens when you max out the difficulty and play, like, five songs one after the other:
You get scratches on your thumbs and you brutally murdered one of the buttons on the joystick. HELL...
“If I had a single flower for every time I think of you, I could walk forever in...”
– Claudia Gandhi
Disturbance.
That’s it. I’m losing my mind.
I want you to disturb me when I’m playing. I want you to ask me the weirdest questions ever. I want you to tell me what you’re doing right now. I wanna stay up for as late as I can just to wait for you to sleep.
I want to stop everything I’m doing just to reply to your messages.
But I guess the positive action, the initiative, was...
Paralyzed.
I don’t get it. Right now I should be as happy as hell. Ridiculously happy, in fact. I have more time for sleep when I need it, I can play video games for hours—no interruption, and I don’t have to worry about overcooking dinner. All because we don’t text that much anymore. Hell. I’m free as a damn bird.
But no. The exact opposite just took place. I can’t...
You're bigger than me.
Well, yeah. lol. I actually saw this on Channel V. Sort of another head shot. I paid too much attention to the lyrics to notice the melody/rhythm. But it really opened my eyes. Why? Because it totally described you, how you still manage to stay despite how much of a toolbox I’ve been. Thanks. I love you for it.
Bigger Backstreet Boys First off I cant keep a promise I’m no one to...
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The dream.
Dreams, eh? I really can’t remember most of my dreams, aside from the ones about her.
They’re usually about us just being together… alone somewhere, with nobody else around us. On some roof, in the beach… hell, even in the middle of the city. But it’s always the same situation: us, holding hands, and there’s just the two of us. Peace and quiet. Nobody else was...
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“I understand. Everybody wants their first make-out to be special, in some place...”
– Jackie, That 70’s Show
What do you consider your best quality?
Ricky: Tell me, what do you consider your best quality?
Eric: Well, I'm a real people person.
Hyde: I don't answer stupid questions.
Fez: I speak Dutch.
Kelso: My eyes. Oh, and I guess my butt, too.
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Fly with me.
Talked about Peter Pan, Wendy, Tinkerbell and…Pixie dust. What the hell. lol. I don’t know how the conversation got there, but it was entertaining, nonetheless. Got into an interesting conversation with her for once after, like, I don’t know how long. Loved it.
I could’ve been your Superman. Peter Pan? lol. Alright. At least I can still fly.
Now, I gotta go and find...
Merry Christmas, love.
Merry Christmas, love.
I love you. I miss you. I wish I could see you right now.
“Let me light up the sky, just for you tonight.”
– Light Up The Sky, Yellowcard
I think I know.
You wanna know why he still holds on to the frail illusion that you’ll give him a chance? You wanna know why he’s still hoping you’ll return the love he’s been showing you?
Because you keep entertaining him. That’s why.
You’re tricking him by making him see that little glimpse of hope that isn’t really there. I don’t know if it’s intentional...
“A right thing at the wrong time is still wrong.”
– Trisha Bersamina
Yeah. I wish you could see this. You were the first, so I guess I’ll never lose that feeling.
But get this: I love you, but I’m no longer in love with you. Not anymore. So please, do yourself a favor and forget about me… and take your feelings with you. Because you’ll only be hurting yourself. I can’t go back to you. I won’t come back.
I have her now. And...
Merry Christmas!
Merry friggin’ Christmas, guys! Enjoy the food, liquor, and all those presents. But easy on the booze. Save all that crap for New Year! lol.
God bless!
“It’s a damn cold night.”
– I’m With You, Avril Lavigne
You know what ticks me off?
The fact that I can’t even spend my Christmas or the first day of the new year with you. That’s what ticks me off.